Marriage has it’s ups and downs, season, cycles… you get the picture. In the routine of life it is easy to forget to take initiative in showing love, value and affection towards our spouse. For many, marriage is not made up of the “big events”. Marriage is more often an accumulation of little acts of love, affection and service to one another.
We can get in the lazy habit of doing things out of response. We hug our spouse because they said a kind word. We plan a date because they mentioned it first. Those are reactions, which are natural. More powerful is to be the one who takes initiative in the little things.
We often need a reminder or a little kick in the pants to get us moving. So consider yourself reminded. Do something. Today. Take initiative. Really. Do it.
Here’s a list of some ideas. Pick one and do it today and over the week ahead.
1. Text message a thank you to your spouse for all they do for you, your children or for others.
2. Text message something you love about them.
3. Give them a hug or kiss next time you see them… don’t just say “hi” and move on.
4. On your way home stop at the store and buy them something that you know they would love… flowers, a chocolate they really like, something for dessert, a magazine they love to read, etc.
5. Plan or cook a meal that you know they love.
6. If you have kids, surprise them by saying, “I want you to relax. Go relax on the couch, I’ll get the kids in bed tonight”
7. Initiate sex tonight.
8. Initiate plans over the weekend which communicates that you love them and want to be with them… “let’s go for a walk” or “Let’s go out to breakfast tomorrow morning”
9. Hold hands next time you are driving somewhere in the car or when you are walking together.
10. Write a hand written note and leave it on their desk, pillow, etc.
11. Text message them that you can’t wait for them to be home so that you can *ahem* enjoy yourselves tonight.
12. Find a way to publicly affirm them to others. Do it when they are around so they can hear you say it!
13. Go find them right now and tell them several things you love about them.
14. Say “thank you” when they are kind and generous to you.
15. Compliment them on how they look, tell them specifically how you find them attractive.
16. Plan a date and handle all the details.
17. Randomly ask them if you can make them coffee, tea or a special drink.
18. Send them off to do something fun on their own… this is especially wonderful if your spouse is an introvert!
19. Plan to do something new together, that you have never done before.
20. Affirm them in their life calling. Tell them how proud you are of what they are doing with their life.